baby, you have become my addiction.

friday nights @ the mustang bar - mimi and i usually get on our lesbo act, letting loose, dancing provocatively while fending off dirty old men and ah nehs (sorry, we just cannot help it that we're racist). drinks, good music, bloody fun. we never get it on with others, the hotties are always taken or shooting pool *sob to the dark blue jumper blonde*. but we're just happy minding our own business.

friday night, i finally got it on with someone. lets call him hustler didi (because his older brother wore a teeshirt that says HUSTLER the week before). before we talk about didi, let's talk about hustler korkor first. mimi and i noticed korkor the week before (when he was wearing his infamous teeshirt). or rather, hustler korkor noticed us. tall, chiselled, piercing eyes with a penetrating stare and a tone bod i could just eat. he came over to shake his bon bon with us but left when BIGGER fish came along (like omg-size 16 fatties). i noticed hustler didi and his friends, mole boy (for obvious reasons why we nicknamed him), fugly jumper guy and dreadlock boy. didi bears a startling resemblence to korkor, except he is shorter, a lil scrawnier and more boyboy looking. i know what you guys are thinking - rach likes!

actually we didn't bother about them the week before. but friday.... they noticed us again and swamp us like flies as mimi and i strutted our stuff. hustler korkor tried to pull some moves on the both of us but i wasn't intending to get it on with him, too much of a man whore. suddenly a hand creeps around my waist. and as hustler didi (right then, i hadn't confirmation that they were related) was nowhere in my sight, i suspected didi. so i thought "ok...... nevermind, just continue dancing. probably a man whore like korkor. shake him off later." didi was quite shy so we just contined on like this for a while.

mimi ended up with mole boy after hustler korkor disappeared somewhere. mole boy was making the most of his opportunity with mimi, not showing her any respect and asked her a whopping 10 times for a headie in the bathroom (i.e. blowjob). i wasn't too happy about it so i kept pulling her close to me. but she somehow always got separated from me and pushed around between mole boy, dreadlock boy and hustler korkor, who had then returned. while i know mimi enjoyed her time with hustler korkor, korkor kept asking her to go with him to the bathroom as well. she was not happy. this happened over an hour or so.

throughout this time, hustler didi had already "claimed" me as his, so everyone left us alone, and we were good. he learn fast. if he tried to pull something i wasn't comfy with, he wldn't do it again. and he stuck with me. if i needed to use the bathroom, he'll let me but when i am done, he came back to me, staying close to me. by then, i had already confirmed he is indeed hustler's didi. didi was very protective of me, to the extent that his immaturity showed. say, in a crowded pub, people are bound to be pushed around. someone shoved me hard unintentionally. hustler didi, without thinking, shoved that guy back even harder with one hand, the other arm around tightly around me, and demanded this WWE-lookalike guy to apologise to me. like OMG. for a minute, i swear a fight was gonna occur. thankfully, nothing happened. mimi, charlotte and han thinks it's sweet but really... thats immaturity to the max. he could have landed himself in hosp.
i wore an off shoulder top that night and it kept slipping down. after initially trying to be funny with me and realising it was a no go, each time my top slipped down, he would gently pull it back up to my shoulder and re-adjust it for me - won mimi and i over. brownie points. and i knew throughout the 4hrs we were together, he was in dire need of bathroom help - but its either because he is shy or alot more respectful, he never shot me such a request.

in the end, he got into a scuffle with korkor and friends. korkor and friends wanted to move on to another club. he didn't wanna go. korkor and friends kept harassing him to leave a couple of times, but he refused. they tried dragging him away from him and demanding he leaves with them - but he kept coming back to me. and left them to their destination. i couldn't believe it. i just couldn't. i expected him to just get it on with 3-5 girls at any one time, like hustler korkor.

the night ended a tad too soon. hustler didi asked me where i was heading to. i said "home". he begged me to go paramount with him. i turned him town flatly. 8 times. to me, even if i went to paramount, what would happen there? nothing. he might as well find himself another girl there. i know didi isn't as hot as korkor, but he isn't too bad. life goes on. me going to paramount wouldn't change anything - we'll still go separate ways at the end of the day. then i asked him a question i have been wanting to ask the whole night, hopping he will prove me wrong. but he didn't. he gave me the exact answer i anticipated, what his korkor and friends would have said. and then we parted ways. he looked back after he crossed the road. and waited for mimi and i to cross the road. but i couldn't bear to look at him nor head in his direction. we walked in the opposite direction. that's how it's gonna be. everyone asked me why didn't i get his number. but look, with friends and a brother like that, committment is not on their mind. its a lay lay. a quickie. and thats it. and i don't just mean relational committment. i don't think they want contact with the girls they have got it on with, dance wise or more. when the night is over, it's over.
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the aftermath conseqences was alot more impactful than i could have ever imagined. i thought that i'll sleep on it and thats it. but hustler didi haunted my mind. he was shy and respectful to me throughout the whole night. he wasn't like hustler korkor and friends, but yet he was also like that. oxymoron huh.

it almost seems to me like he is a good boy gone bad, given his influences. he tries hard to emulate them, but yet there is still alot of decency in him. when i looked into his eyes (which was that one and only time before we parted ways), i thought i was looking at a reflection of me. like a wounded puppy, but sure where to go. lost, confused, doing all the wrong things despite knowing they are wrong, yearning for affection, intimacy but scared of the costs that will come with it, trying to find footing on stable ground but having a warp vision of what 'stable' is. thats hustler didi. and thats me.

i truly want to believe there is more to him than this. maybe he will prove me wrong this time, when i don't want him to. but for now, we wouldn't know. i can't shake hustler didi off my head. it's almost like i want to do a mother theresa - turning a wayward good boy good again. we all know that's a myth. girls have this idea that they will be the one who tames the wild boy. but honestly, how often does it happen? neither can i shake off the fun i have at mustang bar. i yearn to go back for more. and possibly, just possibly, bump into hustler didi again. i may do things different the next time.

mustang bar. hustler didi. mustang bar. hustler didi. baby, you have become my addiction.

you deserve alot more credit than anyone will give you.